Crossroads

There i sit, at the cross roads. I could go one way and live my selfish life. I could have all that wanted, money, job, clothes, sex, the world. I could have all of that, but live empty, live with a hole that will never go away. Live angry, live barely living. Or i could go the other way, I could give up all i have ever wanted. I could give up all my desires. It would be painful, it will hurt. He says beauty comes from ashes. He says trust me, though the way looks narrow and hard the end is beautiful and sweet. Which to go, I know which way i should go, but the fear of losing on stupid things haunts me. Im controlling, stubborn and i hate to feel weak. Why cant i just take the step, give up the thing that haunts me most and live in freedom, then start walking on the path i was supposed. I cant because is haunts me. Its twisted its self in me, it makes me weak. I can push it down, but it always comes back, it knows just what to do to get me back on its path. It speaks words sweet and stick as medicine in my ear, I listen and fall. Though, i dont hit the ground something catches me, lifts my face and wipes my tears. Then softy and slowly speaks, "I love you". He pulls me up, dusts me off, still saying all the while, "I love you". His eyes show no hate, no frustration, just love and sadness. He gentle leads me back to the right path, and we began to walk. He starts to leave, He cant go, what will i do, I scream for Him not to leave me. His eyes crinkle in a smile " I will never leave you, I will always be with you, You just have to Trust me". Trust Him. So I walk, I fall alot, i stumble but no matter what happens He lifts me back up dusts me off. All the time whispering His love for me. He will always be with me, I have chosen Him. Its hard and i dont always do the right thing but He never leaves and i will turn away. I will pursue forward strong, though i may fall, He will always be there helping. Just so long as i take His hand, and give Him my heart.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10