Shake it off

This past weekend i went to a women's retreat, where the focus was the verse
" Come to me all who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest."
Which honestly is just what i needed at that very moment and its funny how God knows those things. The one things that just kept pushing down on my mind was, " Why would be continue to carry these burdens that Jesus said we would carry for us.?" Why? Why do I, Jessica Flack, continue to struggle to lift these things that i think i can take care when God, Himself says give them to me. Come give them to me, and find rest in Me. Lay down the struggles, wants, and fears, find rest in me. Ive had a rather hard last few years, struggling and sometimes winning over my burden. In the last 7 or so months this burden has taken over me and has been winning. The reason, because i decided to carry it myself. I decided to listen to it and learned to believe the things it was telling me. But what God says is different. This burden ran me down, it made me weak in so many ways. It brought me to a point where i couldnt do it anymore, things were coming to mind to release the pain, hurt and frustration that were not good. This weekend shook me to the core, God shook me. He called me and said "Jessica, let me have it, come to me, depend on me and i will give you rest." He told me is wont be easy, but we as a team will do this together. Because guess what! He is strong enough to carry my burdens! Its so amazing! Though it will be a struggle, and i might not always win, He will always be there. He will pick me up, dust me off, embrace me in a large loving hug, and say" come on, we got this lean into me. I will carry you." Amazing. Amazing!
Something else He taught me was about the journey. From these past years i had just wished away the past. I had wished it has never happened, that some how i was stronger or something. But with out that journey, with out that past i would not need or depend on Him the way i do now. That journey took our relationship from head to heart. It took it from be just believing what my parents believed to a deep personal relationship with my loving Father. So, dont curse that past, God uses all things for good. With out my past i would not be the person i am today.
My life was changed. I am so excited for it.

"Shake It Out"

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Though this song is not by a christian artiest or really even about God. (I took parts of it out) That its time to shake it off. The devil has had his hook in my to long. Its time to shake him off. To bury the burden and dance for Jesus!

Crossroads

There i sit, at the cross roads. I could go one way and live my selfish life. I could have all that wanted, money, job, clothes, sex, the world. I could have all of that, but live empty, live with a hole that will never go away. Live angry, live barely living. Or i could go the other way, I could give up all i have ever wanted. I could give up all my desires. It would be painful, it will hurt. He says beauty comes from ashes. He says trust me, though the way looks narrow and hard the end is beautiful and sweet. Which to go, I know which way i should go, but the fear of losing on stupid things haunts me. Im controlling, stubborn and i hate to feel weak. Why cant i just take the step, give up the thing that haunts me most and live in freedom, then start walking on the path i was supposed. I cant because is haunts me. Its twisted its self in me, it makes me weak. I can push it down, but it always comes back, it knows just what to do to get me back on its path. It speaks words sweet and stick as medicine in my ear, I listen and fall. Though, i dont hit the ground something catches me, lifts my face and wipes my tears. Then softy and slowly speaks, "I love you". He pulls me up, dusts me off, still saying all the while, "I love you". His eyes show no hate, no frustration, just love and sadness. He gentle leads me back to the right path, and we began to walk. He starts to leave, He cant go, what will i do, I scream for Him not to leave me. His eyes crinkle in a smile " I will never leave you, I will always be with you, You just have to Trust me". Trust Him. So I walk, I fall alot, i stumble but no matter what happens He lifts me back up dusts me off. All the time whispering His love for me. He will always be with me, I have chosen Him. Its hard and i dont always do the right thing but He never leaves and i will turn away. I will pursue forward strong, though i may fall, He will always be there helping. Just so long as i take His hand, and give Him my heart.

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

If there is a will there is a way.

Life is complected. It always has been. In class we always take about assessing students different. That you cant really test knowledge just on testes, and yet we take tests. I feel like that is backwards. Collage students are just like elementary student( we are smarter and older, yes) we test different just like them. I am horrible at tests. They freak me out, ive never really known how i am supposed to study for them, so i dont really well. Really im just not good at anything, other then presenting, i can dish one of those out in min. But people get things, i mean are you even sure that your straight A student understands the material, or do they just have photographic memory? Cuz the C student over there could get and understand what you are talking about but testing is hard for them. Like me, i am in no way a straight A student. I like to make A's but i get more B's and C's then A's. But i get the material. I understands when the teacher is talking and i could tell you just what you want ot know if you ask. But put a test in front of me or ask me to write a paper, this is why i get B's. and possible i hate waking up for morning classes. I just feel if we are talking about assessing students different, they should practice what they preach. Then they write you off, after you start to get and grades. The school takes one look at one semester and is like oh she cant do anything look at that GPA. Ok, im so so so sorry i took all three super hard GEs in one semester and i didnt get A's in all of them! There is more to a person then there grades. A letter grade is nothing to that person, it shows nothing. Other then if you are a C student you are obviously not smart. Testing doesnt always show your knowledge, lets reform and start testing knowledge different. I would help me out haha
Anyway, other then my frustration at testing and schools. The semester has been stressful and hard! wonderful! but i know i will get through it. Cuz if there is a will there is a way!

Thanksgiving!

Silly Kitty


I get to be home for a week! i am so grateful for that!


"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

Life!

{Friends}

















Lets say this semester has been a ride! Its had its ups and downs, but over all its been great! I have made so many new freinds that i love with all my heart! I have had so many new adventures! Its has been great, hard but great...though i cant wait for summer to be here again!

New Semester!

Well its a new semester and this is a tough one so far. I am taking 18 hours and life is crazy.


I just feel like its the same over and over. I need new. and i need change.

Almost done!

Half way done with college! Crazy!!! Just two and half more years! It has been so good and so hard! God has blessed me with great friends and amazing teachers!
I cant wait to be home for half the summer! and work here for half the summer! God has truly blessed me!
And i have cute kitty waiting for me at home =)